Twas the night before Apple, and all ’round the net,
All the rumors were flying, but no real news yet.
Speculations were read, with the utmost of care,
With the hopes that the keynote, soon would be aired.

Apple faithful were restless, their iPhones held steady,
In hopes that Cupertino soon would be ready
To announce a new tablet, for which they’d been fawning,
Ever since Newton left consumers, well. . . wanting.

A capacitive screen, is a definite must.
Since fans of multi touch gestures are us
A size 10″ screen is most likely, “Yes.”
But a front facing camera, perhaps GPS?

Wifi is a given, and the app store is too,
As for syncing iLife, well now that’s nothing new.
Perhaps unlocked iPhones, for non AT&T folks
Since that network’s the butt of quite a few jokes.

Then fanboys will come from within every city
To post about how Apple’s business is shitty.
More rabid than wolves, to the forums, they’ll fly
And tear apart lie after lie after lie.

So iPad, iSlate,
or whatever you’re called.
(I’ll admit that these names
have me somewhat appalled.)
On the web I will read
and on printed news too,
“Apple tablet is out!
It’s brand spanking new!”

So tomorrow I’ll find, on my usual sites
News about Apple with included soundbites.
I’ll witness his Steveness, his demeanor quite proud
About Apple solutions, he’ll talk to the crowd.

But then he’ll announce, how much it will cost
As banks everywhere groan from cash reserves lost.
But there’s always a point, in my ears it will ring,
“Thank you all for coming. But there’s just one more thing.”

‘Twas the night before Xbox, when all through the city–
Those without preorders were feeling real shitty.
The previews had been read, with the utmost of care,
predicting many good things, but the box would be rare.

The fanboys had lined up, despite all the cold,
to count down to the second 360s were sold.
And I in my jacket and cellphone and bag
was going to attempt a mid morning snag!

At the first shop, what a scene I did see–
People lined up, outside BestBuy, Tenley.
Away to the metro, I sprung like a flash
Hopped on the red line, to yellow I dashed.

At Pentagon City, I quickly departed
But as I entered EB, I found I was thwarted.
My buddy, the manager, stood quite dejected.
“We only received half of what we expected!”

I saw there, a woman afraid to walk out,
A 360 she had, but with it, some doubt
About human nature, she had some great fears
Of her 360 looted, stolen by peers.

I saw a few friends, simply waiting in line
They’d have 360s, but where was mine?
As my phone started ringing, insistent in tone
I swore I’d acquire a box of my own.

On my cellphone was Dan, and after casing CostCo
Found that they were sold out, and we had to go.
I met up with Dan outside of the mall,
racked my brain back and forth for some kind of cure-all

More rapid than eagles, to the stores we then flew
And found out from cashiers what we already knew.

To Sears, to BestBuy,
to WalMarts most rural!
To Target, to EB,
and electronics stores, plural!
To the front of the line,
to the back of the store,
“You can’t be sold out,
please say you have more!”

Alas we were thwarted, as the car was quite empty
Thanksgiving would be without the 360.
Then we had lunch, and I went in to work.
As dwelling too much would have made me berserk.

I sprang to the web, to FireFox gave two clicks,
Navigated to eBay, and counted the ticks
My coworkers heard me exclaim as the page came in sight,
“Two thousand five hundred fifty dollars for a 360?!
You have got to be fucking kidding me.”